I have 40 recipes in my queue and no time to try them

From mydogischelsea by Laura Parisi

June 15, 2009

I eat so much better in the winter. That’s the season when I have that elusive thing called “time.” Time to make homemade stock. Time to try out fiddly recipes. Time to make three side dishes and a dessert for later.

But just as the first asparagus spears and snap peas hit the stands of the farmers market, the quality of the food I eat exponentially drops. This is because spring heralds the beginning of Ultimate Frisbee season. This means: team practice twice a week. League play every week, sometimes twice. Pickup games at every turn. Since Tuesday, I’ve had one evening that WASN’T dedicated to playing my chosen sport.

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Why salad shouldn’t be a main course

From mydogischelsea by Laura Parisi

May 22, 2009

On Mondays at my office we have this thing called Salad Days. The idea is that everyone brings in lettuce and a topping to share, the office supplies the salad dressing, and together we eat our healthy greens. It’s great in theory, but I’ve been opposed to Salad Days from the start. Here’s why:

I love salads. Love them! Nothing beats an arugula salad with shaved Parmesan and a light homemade vinaigrette. Or greens with apple, green onion and avocado. Or radicchio and endive with bleu cheese. The possibility with salads are virtually endless, and, of course, need not begin or end with lettuce. But salads are just NOT supposed to be main dishes, ESPECIALLY when they are made with bagged lettuce topped in a smorgasbord of conflicting toppings and finished with bottled Newman’s Own dressing.

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On food and memory

From mydogischelsea by Laura Parisi

April 22, 2009

“Everyone seems to have such strong memories associated with food.” A coworker of mine observed this recently after a writer’s workshop. Our task had been to write a series of six-word stories about family—most of which ended up being related to food. “I wonder why that is,” she said.

I’m sure an academic has studied this phenomenon at great length, but here are my amateur guesses at why this seems to be universally true:

1. Everyone eats. Not everyone has a mother, or a brother, or a dog. Not everyone has a good time at prom. Not everyone goes on big family hikes or gets married or learns to surf. But, to varying degrees of enjoyment and plenitude, everyone eats food.

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If I only had a steam-free milk frother...

From mydogischelsea by Laura Parisi

April 15, 2009

My mother always says that a kitchen isn’t complete without a lettuce spinner and a food processor. When she visited me a few years ago, she was dumbfounded by my lack of both.

“I couldn’t function without mine!” she said. (And I don’t doubt it—it was a crisis of epic proportions when her microwave gave out.)

I don’t think I need to tell you what she gave me the following Christmas.

Now, I do love my lettuce spinner—almost as much as I love my Cuisinart—but I’m not sure I’d make the case that a kitchen isn’t complete without one. In fact, I think I got along quite fine before either item entered my world. Even now, without all of the appliances and accoutrements I wish I had—a crock pot, a stand mixer, a Le Creuset pan—I’d say my tiny little kitchen is pretty well stocked.

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How seasonal is ‘seasonal’?

From mydogischelsea by Laura Parisi

March 24, 2009

Just about every restaurant in Portland serves seasonal cuisine. In the winter, this meant that menus were loaded up with butternut squash (never any other kind), kale, root vegetables (that’s a euphemism for “carrots”), blood oranges, beets, potatoes, yams, pear-themed desserts. Because, you know, it was winter.

And now that it’s officially spring, more tender vegetables are making their way into restaurant kitchens. In fact, last week I saw an asparagus soup (a little early for that, no?) and this weekend, a pasta dish with morels. Spring has sprung.

But I worry that some restaurants use “seasonal” as nothing more than a marketing ploy. Yes, it’s spring, and yes, in the spring we get asparagus, but that doesn’t mean that our restaurants are getting asparagus from Oregon yet—or ever. And the whole point of eating with the seasons is to eat food that is available here. And now. Sure, I guess it is possible that the asparagus on that menu was local, but I doubt it, and there is no way of knowing one way or the other (especially in pureed soup form). And that, to me, is troubling.

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Really, spaghetti squash is that easy

From mydogischelsea by Laura Parisi

March 14, 2009

I’m certain this isn’t news to the Culinate community, but apparently it is to the world at large (and by that I mean “my family”): Cooking spaghetti squash is easy!

On a recent family vacation, my mother made a ridiculously fantastic meal of bacon-wrapped filet mignon, potato gratin and her famous tri-colored salad. My measly contribution to the mix was spaghetti squash tossed in parmesan, parsley, butter and a touch of maple syrup.

Now, compared to my mother’s decadent feast, my dish was inelegant and, frankly, not very good. I’d undercooked the squash and the result was a sort of Granny-Smith-esque flavor and texture I didn’t much appreciate. But my family seemed genuinely impressed by it, complimenting it far more than it deserved.

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Once again, the Onion gets it right

From mydogischelsea by Laura Parisi

March 10, 2009

Much like the Daily Show, the Onion has a knack for reporting fake news that strikes a chord for its inherent truthiness, as Stephen Colbert would say. Exhibit A, which is food-related not just because of its publication’s namesake: FDA Approves Salmonella.

The article is funny not because of the absurdity of the subject, sadly, but because of its all-too-right-on implied criticisms of the FDA and the major food companies that lobby it. Which is to say: It’s funny because it’s true even though it’s not true.

Although, I suppose that that’s more sad than it is funny.

The carrot quandary

‘Is it a beet?’

From mydogischelsea by Laura Parisi

March 3, 2009

“What do you think this is? A carrot or a beet?”

I was eating dinner recently at the bar of a nice restaurant with my uncle and my mother. The patrons next to us were prodding their side veggies—a beautiful medley of young carrots in a rainbow of colors—with a fork.

“Couldn’t be a carrot—too purple. Definitely a beet.”

Now, I know it’s rude to eavesdrop on and then interrupt people while they’re dining, but I had to set the record straight: the plate in front of the woman to my right was decidedly beet-free.

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My mother’s salad dressing: Best. Dressing. Ever.

From mydogischelsea by Laura Parisi

February 14, 2009

My mother makes great salads.

What makes them so great is their simplicity. Often, when I make a salad, it’s got all sorts of goodies: avocados, green onions, apples, yellow bell peppers, what have you. That’s nice and all, but it’s a little busy. Her salads? Lettuce, bleu cheese (if and when it’s in her fridge at the moment) and The Best Dressing Ever.

Of course, the right lettuce is key. My favorite of her salads is what she calls the “tri-colored salad”: arugula, radicchio and endive, tossed with bleu cheese and dressing.

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25 food things

From mydogischelsea by Laura Parisi

February 7, 2009

I’ve resisted this tag on Facebook like the plague. However, anything food-related is infinitely more interesting to me. I have succumbed.

1. I detest eggplant. Do not feed it to me in any form. No—not even baba ganoush. Only acceptable exception to this is thinly sliced fried eggplant parmesan. Frying it removes the disgustingly mushy texture and, obviously, cheese and a nice tomato sauce taste good on anything.

2. When I was a kid, I instilled a lifelong hatred of tomatoes in my younger brother by sucking out the pulp of a wedge of a beefsteak, showing him the bumpy inner membrane, shoving it in his face and shouting, “THIS IS YOUR BRAIN!”

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